Is anybody ALWAYS happy? No, it’s not natural. What’s natural is an emotional terrain of plateaus, hills, and valleys. So why, when we are in a valley, do we get so bent out of shape? Why not settle in for the ride, knowing there is a mountaintop on the other side of the trial?
I think it’s all in our head: the stories we tell ourselves, what we meditate on, the choices we make based on the stories we tell ourselves. One thing I am sure of, though, is that however we find ourselves, we are there because that place serves us in some way. And if you hang in there, lessons abound.
1. The Stories We Tell Ourselves
We all have a huge history behind us – zillions of experiences and interactions that are woven into the cloth called Us. When something happens or someone says something, it automatically gets filtered through all our other experiences.
What if we consciously chose to decide for ourselves, each time we experience something unsettling, to view it from a neutral place of reference, and not link it to the big picture, at least not right away.
Here’s an example from my own life: I had a regular, longstanding, darling client yesterday who is getting married. Great, I’m thinking, I’m doing weddings now. I can do her bridal makeup! Wrong. She’s looking online for makeup artists in the area, and they’re not me.
Here’s the back-story: I’m expanding my business into this new arena, and moving out of what’s comfortable and familiar. I’m feeling all kinds of angst and insecurity about it all. Everything is new. There are different skill-sets required, new tools and supplies needed, and a battery of marketing efforts to undertake.
So I tell myself this story: I’m working like crazy to establish myself as the go-to makeup professional in the area and my own client, who I do makeup on every month, isn’t even considering me? Must mean something is wrong with me or my work.
What if I choose to tell myself this story instead: For whatever reason this particular client has chosen a different direction. Period. Next.
2. What We Meditate On
If I look at the thoughts I’ve been thinking everyday around the whole wedding-thing/business-expansion, I see negativity, insecurity, and fear at every turn. Odd, huh? Seems like I’m generally pretty self-assured, confident, and optimistic. But this business growth-spurt is happening at a time when there is lots of upheaval in my personal life (and my family’s life) in general.
What would it look like if I decided to fix my mind, my thoughts, on good things, uplifting things. What if I choose gratitude for what is working? How would it feel to remind myself, when these feelings come up, of all my experience qualifications, and talent? Why not put all that “extra energy” into the workings of this project so I can produce the positive results I envision?
Walt Disney said, “If you can dream it, you can do it. ”
3. The Choices We Make
Those of you who read me regularly know I love the book Taming Your Gremlins. In fact I recently wrote a post called Your Financial Success-O-Meter just as I was preparing to launch into this growth phase on April 16th, 2012. I was much more optimistic then! What I talked about in the beginning of this expansion was Clarity, Focus, Ease, and Grace. What have I chosen? None of that. :/
Instead of letting automatic pilot take over, why not decide and choose how to think and act? I know this will inevitably change how I feel.
4. The Pay-Offs
This is the tough part of this post to “flesh out.” It’s based on my belief that we attract to us, or manifest in our lives, that which we think about and invite by the choices we make. Sounds new-agey, I know, but it’s actually a spiritual principle: “For whatever a man sows, that he will also reap” and “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”
Sometimes we have to Choose Happy, because our internal drivers, set on auto-pilot, have another agenda. And it isn’t always what will produce the best, or desired, results.
See you at the spa!